First postnatal class yesterday.
“So as a getting to know each other exercise I want you to write down three things you like about being a new parent and three things you don’t”
Ok. Done.
Blah blah special bond, blah blah, new sense of purpose blah blah.
“Right so, what about negative things? Audrey what have you written for that?”
“Well, really for me, the hideous visions are my least favourite thing”
*Silence and blank faces*
“Y’know, how if you encounter a potentially dangerous situation or a near-miss, you can’t help but visualise the most terrible thing that could happen to the baby in the most graphic way”
*Silence and horrified faces*
“No? Does no-one else get that? It really upsets me. I kind of thought it was one of those instinct things that all new mums get. No-one? Really?”
*Silence and concerned faces*
“I don’t mean it’s a problem, I just mean I just gets these mental images of violent and hideous things happening – I figured it was a fairly primitive thing to make sure I look after him properly and don’t allow those things to happen. I think it’s probably pretty normal.”
“Ok well thank you Audrey. Anyone else?”
“Smelling of sick?”
(Everyone) “Oh yeah smelling of sick yeah that’s well bad oh yeah all the time”
“Yeah and not actually minding!! Hahahaha”
*Everyone laughs and shares numerous highly entertaining vomit stories*
Have a feeling I won’t be making any new mum friends at postnatal class.
Tags: mummy's mental, postnatal class, things they don't tell you at antenatal class
